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Effusion

by Sweet Freeze

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1.
tenderize 04:03
why can't you tell you're sad everyone else gets to feel bad
2.
beware 02:58
beware my voice it's on the outs it's unaware it's terrified it's truth or dare it's rainbow colored barely there it's hidden meanings brash and bare cruel coaxing cockswain siren song manifesto public wrong a whispered hope a scuttled prayer self-flagellation sound waves through air sound waves through air sounds wave through air will it defy, will it divide, will it still fight me? will it define, will it divine, will it still find me? will it defy, will it divide, will it still fight me? it might define, it might divine, it might delight me should i go silently, then, should i go silently? no, i'll wear my voice beware my voice
3.
lullaby 03:38
--for mimi parker breeze on my neck a flickering light calm in a storm restless night was that you? was it you? allowing confusion and taking it slow when someone was lost the beauty of low was that you? was it you? scent in the air --sing a song of-- squirrel in the eaves that rattling window did you really leave so...was that you? was it you? opening or closing --sing a song of-- to fly or to fall we grab at the mystery float on the sea salt we float on
4.
sleep cycle 03:00
stars and asbestos clouds and the rest of the angels and spies holograph of the skies
5.
seedling 04:05
think i messed up i fucked up again it's not enough why i'm not enough i gotta know why you let me go i was a seed so deep beneath was i waiting? i wasn't seen started stretching began to reach was this a feeling? was it a need? it's not enough why i'm not enough you let me go why am i not enough you let me go why'd you let me go between the rocks and bitter sea finding my way learning to be am i dreaming? am i bleeding? if i'm still feeling am i free?
6.
the between 02:12
i don't care life's so precious, delicious, such quickness unwavering flatness that shivers beneath love's so tender, divining, like lightning unwavering shame it itches within nature's pulsing, mysterious, precarious an unyielding empty so close you can touch a time lapsed decay a trip-wired run a wildcat let loose an unsetting sun
7.
bare 03:26
you leave me breathless and gentle untemperamental at peace with myself at ease with myself you leave me fearless and open ready and hoping at peace with myself at ease with myself you leave me safer and softer awake to each other at peace with myself at ease with myself you leave me keep leaving me don't stop leaving me
8.
glitter 04:30
wish i could shake glitter on this feeling make it visible give it meaning no trace of you beyond texts so fleeting is this what i want or am i conceding? i don't know wish i could mine the veins of this feeling weighing what i find against what i'm needing did i make a choice or was i just pleasing, never hoping for always conceding? i don't know am i calling the shots or am i just pleasing? can i be alone and be with you? there's never been a place for me no one's ever been safe for me sandcastles never slip away from me can i be alone and be with you?
9.
(instrumental)

about

Effusion is a warm, vivid, often sparse lofi album exploring the struggle to connect with myself and others: to discern emotions, trust and yield to tenderness, recognize and speak desires, accept loss.

Listeners will find affecting melodies and textures, soft vocals, and languid, meditative patterns. Beauty and blemishes. As always, everything is intimately recorded on my 8-track.

While my previous release explored trauma and healing, Effusion is a step towards the light — seeking to live less fearfully even if it begets surprises or breaks precious things.

With lupus, the sac around my heart can become inflamed. Fluids build up (effusion). My body turns against itself, aggressively trying to heal organs like the heart that aren't broken, but simply alive.

Perhaps more "bedridden" than "bedroom" tape, Effusion also reflects the increased physical and cognitive limits I face from lupus.

Thanks so much for your kindness, curiosity, and support!

credits

released December 1, 2023

All songs and sounds written, performed, recorded, mixed, and produced by Sweet Freeze (Kate Sattler)

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all rights reserved

tags

about

Sweet Freeze Portland, Oregon

delicately textured lofi music with found sounds, haunting melodies, and sparse, ethereal vocals.

All sounds are performed live and recorded on 8-track.

Sweet Freeze is solo artist and composer Kate Sattler. Kate hosts Songs that Shaped Me, telling life stories through music, and founded Foris Choir, to spotlight emerging composers.

Find reviews, interviews, and more at sweetfreezemusic.com
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